if only they worked for snorkeling

Onion goggles. Not at all like beer goggles, these are meant to keep the sting of onion farts out of your eyes. Now, there are all sorts of old wives tales that are supposed to do the same thing (freeze the onion for 10 minutes, hold a piece of bread in your mouth, stand on one foot, say Hail Marys while chopping, sacrifice a goat three days prior, etc.) but none seem to work for everyone.

Enter onion goggles. Remarkable stylish for something so stupid, they presume that everyone has the same shaped face and will fit properly on anyone. Well, maybe they will but I have my doubts. Of course, if you wear glasses you are SOL because onion goggles do not work in conjunction with corrective vision wear. Now, you could still use onion goggles but the fingers you cut may be your own. (Oh god, I would hope they're your own.)

So what's a cook to do? Well, I just chop the damn onion without worry. Maybe it's because I keep them in the fridge, maybe it's because I've built up a tolerance or maybe I'm just a big martyr but it doesn't really bother me. OK, sometimes if I'm cutting a lot of them it might become an issue. Maybe sometimes might. Certainly not enough to worry about freaking onion goggles.

Here's an alternative:

That's right, you can buy pre-cut onions in the grocery store. Of course, this makes you a loser but you can do it.

If you're a total loser, you can even blog about it.
http://precutonions.blogspot.com/