practically NSFW

Peeling eggs. Not normally something anyone gives much thought to, is it?

Behold the eggstractor:














Frequently, simplicity is the key to a kitchen gadget - well, for a useful kitchen gadget - and this one looks pretty simple. Basically you stick your hard boiled egg into the bellows, push down, retrieve your peeled egg. The commercial that brought the eggstractor to my attention made it seem extremely easy to use and super effective. Now, that's what you'd expect from the ad, right? What sends it over the line is the setup.


in black and white:


Woman struggles with egg. Egg is difficult to peel. Egg is exasperating*. Wiping of brow. Egg shell left in hair. Conclusion? Peeling eggs is hard!



*I want credit for not saying "eggsasperating".


Since I can't locate the video to share with you here I will insert the screen capture. (If anyone can find this ad online,please share).













Sadly, you really do have to see the ad to appreciate how ludicrous it is. But, that doesn't mean I can't rip on the eggstractor for a minute anyway.



I can't say that I enjoy peeling eggs but it has never been something I would actively avoid. It's not like deveining shrimp or something. Sure, occasionally you get those eggs that stick to the shell you barely have any of the white clinging to the yolk (don't boil fresh eggs, this helps) but I have never, not one time, had egg shell in my hair. And I've made lots of deviled eggs in my time.

So even if the eggstractor worked like a dream (and why wouldn't it? The commercial makes it seem so easy!) it would be a really stupid thing to own unless you were literally peeling hundreds of eggs per day every day.



However...



Did you know there's a web site devoted to infomercial scams? Helpfully, it's call infomercialscams.com. They have some reader input about the eggstractor. Self-confessed deviled egg addict Diana writes:


...we immediately deemed it the EGGSPLODER... It didn't just destroy the eggs, it OBLITERATED them. It was on the window, the walls, everywhere. We kept doing it because it made the kids laugh hysterically, but seriously. why even sell a product to deshell eggs when 100% of the time all it does is burst it into a thousand tiny unusable pieces around your kitchen?


Seriously indeed. The other reviews were not much kinder.


Now, ordinarily the story would end here but in my quest to find the damned commercial with the egg shell in the hair, I came across a video that offers advice on how to make a DIY eggsractor. A really, really weird video.


You only need to commit two minutes of your time to watching the video but, as a warning, you may want to budget a little extra to shower afterwards.










Don't say I didn't warn you.