what's dumber than a lettuce knife?

For sure, it's this:

Lettuce shears? Is that for when your lettuce knife is out being sharpened? Do they make a left handed version? How about some pinking shears for lettuce? Zig zag lettuce would be awesome!

Seriously, does anyone think these are a good idea?

Turns out there is someone. Ivorypatio (if that is her real name) of California says this in her Amazon review:

I was intrigued by this new kitchen gadget when I first saw it in the beautiful Su La Table catalog. But when my husband monopolized the chopping board one day, I decided to order this because I knew I could slice the veggie with this WITHOUT the chopping board. It cuts leafy vegetable very well and for the stalky part of the lettuce you have to push it to the pivot point of the shears. Free from sharp knives and chopping board and WON'T RUST. We've used this for about a month and are quite pleased with this spiffy little tool.

So they have only one cutting board in the house and her idea to get around this issue is to buy lettuce shears? How about, oh, I don't know, buying another cutting board?

I'm also interested in the fact that it cuts the leafy part well but you have to push the stalk part of the leaf towards the pivot point. How weak is this piece of crap?

I also like that it WON"T RUST (emphasis certainly not mine). She fails to mention that it's dishwasher safe and doesn't cause hair loss.

At least I don't believe it will cause hair loss. Maybe if you push the hair towards the pivot point it will...